Layene-Silverlight

Less than. That invalidates it, Right? Less pain than. So I have no pain, Obviously. Less beautiful than, So I have no beauty, This also is true. Less than. Less good than, Less fitting than, Less than. Less talented than, So I have no talent, So it seems. Less hardworking than, So I am a layabout, One more for the list. Less vivacious than, So I am deathly, One last thing I can do right.

All the ads for antidepressants have it wrong. It isn't a weight on your shoulders. It isn't dark tendrils pulling you into blackness. It isn't a hole in the ground too deep for you to climb out of. It's an ache. Internal. Pain deep in your chest, Pressure. And you can't get rid of it Because it lives inside of you, So you get a knife And you try to get it out You try to bleed it out. And it works. But only for an hour, And then it comes back. Late at night and the exit wounds multiply. It happens more and more often until You realize it's become an infection, Your bloodletting has no effect any longer But you do it anyway hoping it'll help A

I do not deserve emotion. For no trials have I faced, No fear and no sadness overcome. Yet inside my mind there is raging death. Blood harms no one, And pain must be self-inflicted. That which I do not deserve, But steal anyway, I cannot stop myself. Far too much 'sympathy' That really is not, Far too much pain I've never needed. I have given up on happiness, I have set free my hope to the sky Where with my dreams it escapes me. I have never deserved emotion. No death is external here. Merely my own mind desiring some kind of release. I want to come so close to ending it That I will deserve emotion. For lost in sadness that should not b

the strange euphoria of the blood i can't stop hurting you i can't stop breaking me yet vengeful and sorry smiles when red slips out ever so slowly and so little not enough for even a drop. keys i won't give you because i don't want to quit i love to relapse. that wonderful feeling of hurt i get when steel cuts something designed to feel, so much better than heartbreak i bring upon myself by having emotions i shouldn't. i know it is my fault but why do you find it upsetting? for a trigger, i can hide it. for my life, they aren't that deep. for my beauty, i had none to begin. selfish reasons, 'tis none of your business unless you wish to claim